Hello everyone and welcome back to Eternity’s Uglacy – The legacy striving to be ugly, both internally and externally! Yes, in our quest to get the ugliest Sim possible over 10 generations in the Sims 4, our family has managed to roll increasingly worse personality traits. Please have a look at earlier chapters to catch up on the drama.
Thank you to everyone who voted for heir and commented on the forums! As a quick clarification, I am using just game-generated Sims as spouses for this challenge, and not any pre-mades.
The race for heirship was a close one, and came down to a single vote between Melania and Ivana, but ultimately, Ivana won! She will be taking the reins of this Legacy and lead us into Generation 3.
“Aw yes! Thank you to everyone who voted for me and also to everyone who voted for not-Melania! All the votes going to anyone other than the two main candidates really helped me emerge victorious.”
“I am working to be a worthy choice for heiress. As you can see, I’ve already become more fit so that I can better fight THE ALIENS! I also have started programming, which I feel will somehow be important in the future.”
“Melania has also been helping me work on my logic skills, and I am working toward becoming a scientist, since the new Get To Work pack is making everything more interesting.”
Melania: “Ivana! The rook cannot move diagonally!”
Ivana: “Uh… no, I didn’t do a thing…”
Melania: “I don’t care how mean you are – You cannot cheat your way into being a scientist!”
On the rare day that Donald Jr. visited the Uglacy Manor, Eric took to telling his brother about the problems with his marriage.
Donald Jr. seems skeptical about the news that Ivanka and Clementa were an official affair item.
The news must have been pretty shocking, however, as the next time we saw Donald Jr., he walked downstairs an elder.
Donald Jr.: “What did you expect that news to do? This used to be such a normal and stable family unit. And Eric wonders why I don’t come by the house often…”
Rick Perry: “Uh, Uncle Donald, I think something is wrong with this stove…”
“Help! Fire!!!”
Goodness gracious! Even when I had the real life equivalent of 0 cooking points, I never burned the house to the ground.
Although occasionally I’ll spill something onto a stove burner and it threatens disaster…
And don’t worry. Everyone rushed to Rick Perry’s aid. Our little thief is fine <3.
Mike Pence: “I still can’t believe the voters didn’t see my immense jaw as a factor in voting for me as heir.”
Melania: “Stay away from my man, Ivana. He’s too cute for you.”
Yes, soon it will be time to pair up our current generation and I look forward to expanding the family.
Clementa: “Ahem! Ivana is, of course, the focus of the next generation, but I must bring to your attention a very important new development!”
Ah, yes, hello Clementa. You have thus far been the face of this Uglacy and we are all huge fans. What is the news?
“I’ve really been taking this whole ‘open marriage’ thing to heart. I am finally becoming the absolutely dashing former Santa Claus that I was always meant to be!”
Uh, okay, sure Clementa. Did you really need to drag us out here just to tell us that?
Also, speaking of immense facial structures…
“Of course not! I called you out here because I am re-doing the entire house.”
What? The entire mansion? You don’t like the Scandic-style simplicity of it?
“I just feel that with this new stage in life, I require a new change of scenery… BEHOLD!”
“The new Uglacy Santa Claus Mansion!”
What the … Clementa! This is entirely opposite of any other home in this neighborhood! It doesn’t match the style! And it’s… How much did this cost you?!
Eric: “Uh, whoa. What just happened? And… holy crap why do we only have $12,000 in the bank account?!”
Clementa: “Oh honies! Just wait until you see the inside – It’s like one of my Christmas sweaters personified as a house!”
(Editor’s Note: I absolutely adore this house and did not build it. I can’t remember who did but you can find it on the Gallery!)
Rick Perry: “Mel, look at the listing for this place on http://www.fatherwinterrealty.sim … It says that there’s at least five Christmas trees in this house year round. And that they are enchanted and cannot be removed!”
Melania: “Rick, there’s no way that Mom would buy a house with an enchanted army of perpetually-existing Christmas trees that never die.
… Right?”
“Why are there lava lamps in every bedroom? Is this the 70s? Are they cursed too?”
Eric: “Hey, Clementa, I know we are taking a different approach to our marriage, but I didn’t think that would mean we had more of an ‘open finance’ type of relationship. I didn’t even get a say about the type of house we were going to buy, or that we were buying a new one at all…”
Clementa: “Look, honey, I’m going to be honest. I don’t really have much of a good reason to have made such a massive purchase without consulting you other than I wanted it and I didn’t care that you had an opinion.”
Clementa! That’s extremely rude!
Eric: “Yeah, I agree with the Creator. What gives?! I didn’t realize you even had access to my inheritance money!”
Clementa: “We didn’t sign a prenup. Which means that all of our assets are treated as joint marital property. The Creator should know that, being an attorney.”
Errrr….
Eric: “I didn’t even realize that prenups were a thing in the Sims! Or that we were a marital property jurisdiction!”
Clementa: “Of course they are! You don’t think Mortimer Goth married Bella without ensuring that they had an ironclad prenuptial agreement in place, do you?”
Eric, disappointed that he hadn’t consulted a family lawyer before entering into an arranged marriage (rookie mistake, I know), went downstairs to congratulate his favorite daughter (and clone) on being voted the next generation’s heir to the Uglacy family.
Eric: “Congratulations, kiddo! How do you feel about this whole heirship thing? I know that, when I received the heirship, I was pretty stoked.”
Ivana: “Yeah, I’m definitely pretty excited! New house, new expansion packs, and new possibilities!”
Eric: “Don’t get too stoked. Don’t overlook things that you should do, like get a prenup in place when you go through with your arranged marriage.”
Ivana: “We have prenups in the Sims?”
Eric: “Of course – You don’t think Mortimer and Bella got married for love, do you?”
Rick Perry: “I tried to, erm, borrow one of the pretty golden ornaments off of one of those Christmas trees. You know, just to make sure it was real gold, and I swear that the tree swatted me with one of its branches!”
Yeah, maybe stick to swiping items from school instead of your mother’s army of enchanted Christmas trees.
Well Marla, what do you think of the new house?
Marla: “I haven’t touched the Christmas trees and so they haven’t bothered me. I also appreciate the purple lava lamps in my bedroom – They go great with my new purple makeover and match my strange purple eyes.”
Marla is very cute and mild-mannered. She looks forward to a lifetime of motherloded sparehood and few dramas caused by the main branch of the family.
She’s already more popular than her siblings, having been invited to the Humor & Hijinks festival and staying out too late. Oh, how nice it must be for the youngest sibling to get away with so much!
Mike Pence: “Creator, I feel neglected by the storyline. Can our parents resolve their issues and can we move on to generation 3 drama?”
I’m working on it. This story writing thing is difficult when there are so many characters!
The siblings are all very close, though, and they are extremely cute when they all dance together.
Mike Pence: “Keep dancing! Hopefully this Pagan ritual will keep the power of Christmas at bay!”
And then it hit: Our generation 3 spouse walked by the Uglacy Santa Claus Mansion. Everyone, meet Susan Holiday.
Finally, after an entire generation (and three chapters) of searching for a spouse, one who is ugly enough to inspire an “eee!” just walked by the lot of her own volition. Thank you Susan – I appreciate the initiative.
Susan: “I inspire an ‘eee?!’ Who do you think you are?! My mother always said I was beautiful!”
Indeed, Susan was so inspirational that Clementa ran outside to greet and befriend her immediately.
Susan: “So let me get this straight. You want me to enter into an arranged marriage with your daughter, whom people around town believe to be somewhat insane, because I am ugly and will produce unattractive children with her?”
Clementa: “You describe it so harshly. This is hardly difficult legacy living. Why – You get an entire Santa Claus mansion in which to live in luxury whilst reproducing!”
Susan: “Do you even know how reproduction works? We’re both women!”
Clementa: “As the mother of five special darling children, I assure you that I am very familiar with the ins-and-outs of Sims reproduction.”
Clementa even invited Susan to Melania’s birthday party later that same day. I think Eric’s face says it all.
Eric: “And I thought Clementa was bad…”
Mike Pence: “Please forget everything I said earlier – I’ve never been more grateful to be an Uglacy spare more in my short Sim life!”
Rick Perry: “Praises to the Creator and Readers for voting Ivana heiress…”
Susan: “Creator, I know I don’t know you very well, but this family seems terrible.”
Sorry Susan, it’s your fault for wandering by the lot. Besides, Ivana is a very nice girl once you get past her Alien-obsessed ways.
Reactions to Susan’s Uglacy family introduction were mixed. Donald Jr., seen here inexplicably sporting crazy hair, didn’t seem impressed.
Donald Jr.: “Once again, I reiterate how my decision to rarely visit my brother is a very, very conscious one.”
That’s a real shame, Donald, because you guys were, at one point, best friends… Maybe you really are the ugliest Uglacy because you picked perception over family bonds!
In fact, Donald Jr.’s entire family seems to have blacklisted Eric’s. Here is Donald Jr.’s wife Mae making an extremely rare appearance. They have three kids (all redheads, yay!) who have visited the Uglacy lot a total of 1 time.
She really looks like someone who thinks she’s too good to be here.
Ivana’s reaction to meeting Susan was, well, lukewarm.
Ivana: “I don’t know Sonia. She just… I don’t know if she will be a good compatriot in the fight against the Aliens. I also don’t know how I feel about marrying someone just because she’s ugly.”
Sonia: “Look, if you can learn anything from your parents, sign a prenup first and find happiness second.”
Speaking of romantic arrangements…
Ivanka: “No! How dare my lover cheat on me with her husband who is also my brother! I can’t believe it!”
Ivanka: “Creator, I am tired of this. I’m just going to go home to Benny and tell him everything. I know I’m evil, but this is exhausting.”
Fair point, but I hope this works out, because you’re definitely my favorite of generation 2 :(.
Thankfully, Melania manages to grow up without a hitch! She is the first child of generation 3 to reach young adulthood. Her latest trait is kleptomaniac, which I feel was due to her brother Rick’s negative influence.
Melania’s LTW: Nerd Brain. Traits: Father Winter’s Baby, Happy Toddler, Mentally Gifted, Quick Learner, Genius, Bookworm, Kleptomaniac.
Melania is one of my favorite generation 3 kids, and I plan on keeping her around for a while, so we won’t be saying goodbye just yet!
All in all, Melania had a Gold birthday party with no help from me – I’ll hand it to the Uglacies, they sure know how to party.
SimTernity: “I’m sorry you didn’t win the heirship Melania. I know it was very close and that you would have been an excellent choice to lead generation 3.”
Melania: “I am a bit bummed out about it too – It’s a real shame to not be as ugly as your sister.”
SimTernity: “Yeah, I guess (??).”
Melania: “On that note, I actually have an idea for how to improve our chances of becoming ugly a couple of generations down the line.”
SimTernity: “Oh yeah? Please, do tell…”
After Melania discussed her plan, which will only be revealed in later chapters, she received a sophisticated new makeover, befitting of a member of the Uglacy Santa Claus Manor and the newest employee of SpaceY.
Let’s just hope her boss’ twitter postings don’t cause volatility on the Sims Public Stock Exchanges like this of a certain SpaceX founder in real life…
Anyway, the next day brought about a sad reality for the Uglacy household: The day Eric, generation 2 heir, would age into elderhood. Today was also the day of his tour de force silver screen performance.
Eric’s coworkers knew exactly what day it was, and were there to celebrate his birthday as soon as he arrived (and, of course, being a four-star celebrity cannot hurt either).
What do you say, Eric? It’s been a great run – Are you ready for this last youthful acting go-around?
“Yes, SimTernity, yes I am. This will undoubtedly be the best performance of my career, to be remembered for decades.”
I hope so – Also, you sort of remind me of Michael Dorsey from Tootsie.
“It’s funny you should mention that…”
“What did Suzy always say… She knows what’s gonna happen? Well, you think you know what’s gonna happen until it happens to you… My life has been turned up upsidown by the revelation that I was indeed Dorothy Michaels!”
“They threatened many lawsuits! They threatened all my assets, and to only leave liabilities on the balance sheeeeeet! And when all was said and done, and I was thoroughly run, I had a moment to stop and breathe!”
“What could I do now? The most infamous man on Broadway? I had to look inward, find some sort of peace and way forward!”
“Oh Michael! You were right! I didn’t know what was going to happen – All of the publicity from your horrible, gender-swapping scandal and betrayal of all things decent got me a huge break in the next reboot of Law and Order!”
“Why that’s great, Suzy! I am so glad that my pain helped others do better in their lives!”
“Michael, you really inspired me to get my life turned around. I went back to school for something other than drinking and reality TV show preparation. Now, I’m majoring in Gender Studies because of how I feel about you!”
“Uh, gee, that’s great Craig. Say, do you still have that tattoo on your stomach?”
“Yes I do, and so Dorothy Michaels shall live on FOREVER!”
“Oh boy.”
“Can I ask a favor? You’ve done so much… Please just… just kiss me?”
“Aw what the heck Craig. I’m just happy those Gender Studies classes have taught you the definition of consent.”
“I really can’t believe it, I just can’t believe it! All of my friends’ lives are seeing mass improvement! And all because I suffered, I really really suffered!”
“The night is falling on San Myshuno, and soon the daylight will be gone. Anticipation’s all around you, as one by one the lights are coming on…”
“And your feet want to fly and your pulse wants to race, ’cause you’re free and you’re young and you’re in the right place…”
“And you’ve learned more than you ever thought you would know, even if you never got to star on a Broadway show…”
“Which means it’s time to…five six seven eight!”
“Fosset fosset fosset fosset! The floor is lavaaaa – it’s hot hot hot! Happy bunny, funny bunny, frightened bunny, in the hole! Where’s the bunny? Where’s the bunny? He’s got a fidget spinner, go!”
“Bye Felicia! Take a selfie, be a hater! Lap Daaance! Turn it out, reel it in! This is pure Broadway people!”
Director: “And, CUT! That’s a wrap people!”
Entire cast and crew: “Eric that was amazing. An excellent short film about Michael Dorsey’s life after Tootsie. We are all moved to tears.”
Editor’s Note: If you guys can either see Tootsie on Broadway or listen to the soundtrack, I highly recommend. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!
Eric’s family greeted him much the same way after his workday ended. They were celebrating his final birthday at the upscale lounge in Del Sol Valley. Naturally, I had to teleport them inside in order to join the party!
Woo! Party time!
“Are you sure about this aging thing? I don’t really want to lose my good looks…”
Don’t worry Eric. I think you made more use of them than Don Lothario.
“Well, if you insist.”
Aw, look at this cute family!
Mike Pence: “Please tell me that my nose won’t expand like that throughout my lifetime.”
Ivana: “I’m more concerned for my lips. One of the voters told the Creator that it looked like I was addicted to lip fillers!”
Clementa serenaded her husband with the traditional Christmas love song, “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” I’m not saying she’s a one-hit wonder (see chapter 3), but it’s just such a song.
Ivanka, ever appropriately dressed for an upscale lounge party, was enamored too. Really, Clementa’s charm is at its highest with her renditions of Mariah Carey.
Melania met this semi-handsome fellow at the bar – Milan Walsh. They hit it off somewhat, but Milan didn’t seem too impressed with Melania’s genius rantings. And who wants a man who doesn’t appreciates your genius abilities? Pfft. Might be giving Milan a pass.
The other siblings didn’t have much luck searching for partners either, given that Eric and Clementa don’t have any friends who aren’t adults or already dead. The next chapter will focus on a “No Uglacy Left Behind” strategy.
And so, we wrap our chapter up with the end of Eric’s birthday party. As is tradition, one of the Uglacies passed out upon the party’s completion.
Sorry Melania! Quite literally following in your mother’s footsteps, I see.
Stay tuned for the next chapter: Will we see all of the Uglacy children find significant others? Will there be any weddings in addition to funerals? Will we start the fourth generation with Ivana at the lead?
Please let me know what you think of the Uglacy so far and thank you for reading!
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